Grime Diary: The American Interpretation Page 5

family mostly dealing with him. One of the biggest things was his music making obsession. That issues would be gone if they made this move. IF was the only word he saw when he thought of the new lease on life.

  “T!” A girl hollered from down the street.

  We walked towards a girl with tight jeans on and belly tank top. She was white with small hoop earrings and her hair in a high ponytail. The way she stood I could tell she was a girl with a lot of attitude.

  “Is this your girlfriend?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “Does she know that yet?”

  “We’re about to find out.”

  We came up to the girl and she looked pissed off. I hadn’t heard much about her, so I wasn’t sure what we’d be in for. I didn’t even know what kind of relationship they had until they started talking to each other.

  “What?” She asked when we stood in front of her.

  “Oh hello to you too, Em. How’s it going?” T asked lighting a cigarette.

  “You want to know how I’m doing? I’m doing just fine now that we’re over.”

  “Oh, we’re over then I won’t have to stand here.”

  “No no no. I’m not done.”

  “What is it because I’ve done too much for you to stand here and give me this attitude. You asked for money, I helped you. You wanted me to go to your stupid friend’s house, I went. You wanted to gossip and start drama with my boys, I tried to put up with it. You constantly wanted to fight because that is what you see on TV and with your parents. I am not on a show and we don’t have to be your parents. I’d rather not have to fight. You’re a nice girl, but your head is messed up.”

  Emily looked shocked. “You act like everything is my fault. My head is messed up? Look at yours. You came at me in your rap last week. You’re sucha good guy, but then you want to talk about me to everyone in the clubs.”

  “I wasn’t talking about you. I didn’t come out saying Em is that bird I was rapping about. I was just talking! You think everything is about you.”

  “Tell me it wasn’t about me then.”

  “It was inspired by you, but it wasn’t completely about you. Boys everywhere can relate the things I said in there.”

  “Boys can relate to wanting to hit their girlfriends? Do you know how violent that is? Didn’t your mother teach you anything?”

  “Have I ever hit you? I think she taught me something. I didn’t say I wanted to hit you. I said I thought about hitting my girl because I can’t take all the bitching. I get so heated that those thoughts come up in my head, but I never act on them. You weren’t even at the performance. Stop with these things your stupid friends told you. This is over, so get over it.” T started to walk away.

  “You are a fool T! A stupid fool.”

  “Seems a bit redundant.” I commented.

  Emily’s yells faded as we ran down the road away from her. As we rounded another corner T relit his cigarette. The fight didn’t seem to phase him. He was already calm. He didn’t seem to want to fuss or frown about what just happened.

  “That was crazy, huh?”

  “That’s Em.”

  “Was she like that when you meet her?”

  T shrugged. “She had a lot more personality than her other friends she was hanging around. We had some good times ya know. That’s why I stayed around, but too much is too much. I’m a chill guy. Not for all that drama. She knows that. That’s life. I didn’t plan to marry her.”

  “You seem to handle things real matter of fact.”

  “You can’t stress small things like that.”

  I nodded. “Where are we going now then?”

  “The show. What you’ve been waiting for.”

  “I really wasn’t sure where you’d take me next.”

  T shook his head and grinned. “I’m not crazy dude. I still remember why we’re here.”

  Once we were in a busier part of town the noise towards the west grew louder. There were a lot of people hanging about, but it wasn’t clear where they were going. Lots of neon lights flashed. T led us down a large dark alleyway. Leaky pipes and mold were everywhere. There had to be hundreds of voices echoing in the alleyway. A few people came up to T and shook his hand.

  The building to the right was made out of old brick with a huge line. T passed by the line and around to the back of the building. He flipped his cigarette butt and slipped into the side door which was right next to the stage.

  It was dark inside except for a few lights coming from the stage. We could see the whole place from the door. I wasn’t sure how anybody else could fit inside. T got down from the edge of the stage and forced his way into middle of the crowd.

  There was more of the same music that I had heard out into the street. A group of guys walked on stage pumping up the crowd. The crowd roared louder than the beat. The DJ turned the music up louder and louder as the crowd went crazy. Not everyone in the group had a microphone, but different people took turns rapping on the beat.

  The environment was the same as a normal American rap concert, but the energy that came off of these guys wasn’t the same. It wasn’t because they were spitting in different accents. It was because of their flows, delivery, and the amount of bars they spat. They’d run circles around the rappers on the radio with the lyrics they were spitting. Normal rappers had 16 bars and they were coming out with fast 32 bars. It was crazy.

  This harmless white kid stepped to the front of the stage. He had on all black. His face said he was 15, but his voice said otherwise. He started to rap and it felt like he was attacking me with his words. His lyrics were full of metaphors. It was like poetry.

  I stood there staring at them as they rapped. Entranced by the pace and the beat. I was blown away. It took T shaking me to realize I was a brick wall not vibing like the rest of the crowd.

  Everyone that I saw take the mic was different. One big guy came up rapping so fast I thought he’d pass out by minute two. Another short black guy could make his voice go to a high pitch for the end rhymes as he bounced around the stage. A seemingly harmless white kid got on the stage and made me feel like he could actually do some damage to me. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. There were differences between each of them some small, some big, but their spirits were the same.

  The rappers delivered their bars with vein popping passion. I could see hunger and passion in their faces as well as the hundreds who had come to see them. These people felt connected.

  Grime music was the beating heart of this group. The beating heart of these underground, underappreciated souls. They unified in expressing themselves. When the world was against them they found their own thing.

  The potential to take this to the next level was growing the more that I listened. Some dudes needed a little polish, but they were talented to hop off and do this without help. For someone to come in and help them figure things out Grime could explode.

  T pulled me out along with a crowd out the side door before the show was over.

  Sweat was rolling off me like pouring rain.

  A couple asked T why he hadn’t gone up, but he only shook his head at them. I really wished he had. He’s the one that showed me Grime and he hadn’t rapped for me.

  I had almost lost him in the large crowd. I raced through the middle and out the other side. He was sitting on the bench alone under a street lamp. He had his hoodie over his face with his head tilted back. He sat up when I came over resting his arms in his lap.

  “How’s it that I spent all this time with you and you didn’t rap once?”

  “Ah, you got what you need.”

  “Just a few bars.”

  “Not right now.” He said bending forward.

  “Damn,” I said not going to argue with him. “Well, you know what I think?”

  “What do you think?”

  “Earlier you said that Grime needs America, but I think that America needs Grime.”

  T looked back at me, but I couldn’t see his face. “For what?”

  “To
show us what having a heart is. There’s some dudes here who are straight mainstream bull, but most of them take this like an art form. Show our rappers emotion. Not any of that fake crap that they know people wanna hear, but the raw shit. People who rap in there it’s coming from their gut. You can see by their faces that these images they’re casting are true life. The harsh delivery pulls at your brain. Some of it’s jokes and fun, some of it’s dark, but that’s life like you said.”

  He nodded his head agreeing with me. “We can definitely give you raw.”

  “You should come to my club and bring some of your boys. We can make it a Grime event. Might even get a tour out of it.” I said excited.

  T nodded and lit another cig. “I thought you’d like Grime.”

  “Yeah, but you’re gonna die smoking like that.”

  He leaned back raising his left arm away from his body. “I’m already dying.”

  I looked at his stomach and there was a wet spot on his sweatshirt. On the ground there was blood droplets that must have been falling while he leaned over. I reached in and poked my finger on the wet spot in disbelief. I pulled back my finger covered in blood. Putting the whole scene together I got up ready to carry him to the hospital.

  “Let’s go.” I said frantic.

  He shook his head. “Sit down.” He said

  “What? We need to go to the hospital!” I yelled.

  “Charlie. Sit. Down.” He said slowly.

  His commanding voice was scary even with his injury. I sat down next to him. I couldn’t keep my face from frowning. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else, but the amount of blood he could be losing.

  “I’m gonna rap